#1 Frog Pose-Frogs are kind of cute, but when a human tries to mimic what a frog does, it looks like a person humping the floor with legs at 90 degree angles. Hearing people breathe intensely in this pose is awkward to say the least. Also, legs spread wide in a Weird Way + Mom + Sweaty Loose Muscles May = a Little Pee in Tight Yoga Pants.
#2 Goddess Pose-Do godesses pee their pants? Yes, when they are human and have had babies out of their vaginas. If there are such things as supernatural Godesses, they probably don't give birth. They probably just rub a genie lamp, make a wish and a human being appears. Heck, goddesses probably don't even have sex. It has to be some kind of St. Mary immaculate conception or they just don't have vaginas or a uterus.
#3 Wide-legged forward fold Pose-This one may not make you pee, but it may make you fart. That's pretty much the same thing, but from a different end and in air form. Worst thing about this pose is, you're always in a big class with wall to wall people and your head is practically up your neighbors you know what. By the way, can kegals prevent farting in yoga class? If so, I need to do more of them.
# 4 Splits or Monkey Jumping over a Ledge Pose-Need I say more? Legs that wide are just saying, "Look, watch me peeeeee! Weeeeeeee! It's in my pants!" Monkey's pee in the wild, unfortunately we don't.
I have to admit, my hips do feel pretty open this morning. Maybe I was supposed to go to that particular class to challenge myself and my bladder even more than normal. I probably hated the pose so much because it took me out of my comfort zone. At the time, I felt uncomfortable, but my body was really happy afterward. When we move past the fear of peeing ourselves; or the fear that our bodies and mind will reject the whole process of working through the uncomfortableness (not a word I know), we start to welcome forked up poses and life obstacles. We welcome them because we know with practice, the fear disappears and we come out stronger and more flexible than ever. It's kegal time bitches.